The time has finally come! You’re engaged and you’ve recruited all the best women in your life to share their thoughts on the ideas you have for a dream wedding. While us women tend to gush over everything lace, ivory, and romantic, what about the men in our lives? While it’s easy to become obsessed with examples on Pinterest, or pictures from BRIDES, it’s important to remember that this day is about more than just you. Your wedding day is just the one of many stepping stones to a happy, healthy, and successful marriage.
I am sure you’ve heard many times that marriage is about compromise, and while that is often true, marriage is also about communication, patience, and teamwork. I’m confident that if you balance all of these pieces out just the right way, you can totally include your other half in the wedding planning fun, and also not push him to the limits! Keep reading for all of the best tips that me and the Weddings by Funjet Concierge team have put together in order for you to include your fiancé in planning your big day, and not drive him completely bonkers.
1. Let him take ownership.
While it can be said that many times the bride is likely to own many of the details, let your fiancé take ownership over some aspects such as wedding party transportation, dessert, grand march, etc. After he has some time to realize how much work these choices take, he’s bound to appreciate your efforts!
2. Give top picks.
Work to narrow down your top choices and present your man with the top few options. Having different options will not only simplify the final decision process, but it will also generate some really great conversations.
3. Give him the gun.
If they can shoot it, they’ll love it. Let’s make this clear, the only kind of gun we care about is the one used for creating a gift registry at your favorite retailers! Let your honey take over this part. Not only will he have a blast, but it will be something for him to look back on when all is said and done.
4. Let him dress to impress.
Menswear is one of the easiest ways to allow your fiancé to participate in planning. While you don’t have to necessarily give him an option A or option B, it can be beneficial to remind him of the colors and textures you are going with. Perhaps create a mood board with visuals that he can take with him while he shops.
5. Don’t be a debbie downer.
Stick with positivity and kindness when talking about details with your man. He might suggest some options that you absolutely hate. In the same perspective, you might be doing the same to him. Be patient and kind don’t instantly say “No” to anything, let ideas sit. Chances are he may forget he even brought it up or may even be drawn to a new idea.
6. Suggest his favorites.
Remind him that this day is about him too and you will always take his thoughts and feelings into consideration. Whether its his favorite snack as a late night option, or his college go-to song for the grand march, he’ll love being able to have his touch on things!
7. Stay organized, but not too organized.
Let me be real for a moment, men are simple creatures (usually). They likely won’t want to page through every single detail in your 150-page wedding binder that you tote around. What they do want is clear and precise layouts. Don’t walk into a wedding planning sesh with your man and have a hundred different topics spread all over the place. Keep things organized, but minimized, to be as productive and easy going as possible.
8. Use past experiences.
Ask your fiancé to reminisce on previous weddings they’ve attended. Be mindful and not critical. Ask his thoughts on pieces he loved, or hated, and see what parts he might want to have translated into your big day. Remember, learning from other couples mistakes or successes is a great way to grow.
9. Timing is key.
Timing is your friend, use it and don’t abuse it! What I mean is, don’t bombard your man as he walks in the door after a long day at work. As corny as it sounds, schedule out wedding planning dates. This offers a creative way for a more casual, but productive date day between the two of you.
10. Substitute your friends in.
While your fiancé loves you dearly, he might not actually want to go to every bridal show that covers half of the state. Before you assume anything, ask for his opinion and see what he feels most comfortable with. Don’t put him on the spot; be sure to have an alternative option hot and ready!
11. Photos are everything.
Men are naturally visual learners. Chances are if you just ask “gold chivari chairs or french bistro chairs for the reception?” he is going to reply wondering if you’re speaking a different language. When asking his opinion or presenting him with options, have pictures ready. Not only will he be thankful you did that, but it will get his gears turning in terms of picturing the entire event setup.
12. Numbers, numbers, numbers.
A wedding doesn’t just come with one basic price tag like a new car, truck, or boat would. It’s important to remember that while the overall budget might be understood, it is still good to discuss what the big breakdown is. Have a spreadsheet with detailed lines of what each category costs. Having this available may provide him with a sense of relief (or panic) and also create opportunity for creative brainstorming on how to allocate your funds wisely.
13. Stay calm and {carry on}.
It is so easy to have a bride moment and let loose. Life doesn’t stop when you get married. Busy work days, crazy kid schedules, winter colds, and a social life still have their turns! Remember to be patient, mindful, and calm throughout the process. If you’re having a tough day, tell your better half how much you could use a hug or even five minutes of their time to listen to you vent about how you just can’t decide between ivory and champagne for your dinner napkin color. At the end of the day, I’m convinced he will still love you!
