This month we launched our first ever #TheyStillDo Vow Renewal Contest, encouraging our readers and clients to submit their favorite couple who have been married for 10+ years that have a truly inspiring love story. The goal of the contest is to embrace and show gratitude toward the couples in our lives that teach us what makes a strong marriage, and the love, laughter, joy, and happiness they bring into all of our lives. You know the couple. They are still glowing after all those years, still finishing each other's sentences, and it's not even annoying. After reading through 241 contest entries, we were inspired to share our insight on the patterns we see with strong marriages, paired with advice and tips from relationship experts.
Openness to learn and grow.
Unbreakable bonds begin with an understanding that marriage, and love for that matter, are not easy. The purpose of marriage shouldn't be surrounded around projecting feelings and ideals onto your spouse, but honoring and respecting the differences that each of you bring into the relationship. In times of conflict and confrontation, remember that having differences keeps the relationship interesting. Acknowledgement of the fact that you are on your own journey will bring you closer, and also put emphasis on the life hack that you will always be learning and growing, individually and as a couple.
Selfless love.
Weddings by Funjet's Accommodations Specialist Lisa Pearce has been married for almost 30 years. Lisa's key advice is that marriage is not 50/50. Sometimes it's 70/30, and sometimes you will feel you are giving 110% and receiving nothing back in return. Selfless love begins by being able to put your spouse's desires and needs before your own, and vice versa. It's a balancing act and must always come from both ends of the relationship in order for it to make your relationship stronger. Ensuring open communication will help to make it through the tough times you will inevitably face as a couple. By allowing your spouse to openly express his or her feelings, you build a foundation of trust and understanding that will amplify your ability to give selfless love.
Purpose.
According to New York Times Bestseller of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and Relationship Expert, John M. Gottman, PH.D., "In the strongest marriages, husband and wife share a deep sense of meaning. They don't just "get along" - they also support each other's hopes and aspirations and build a sense of purpose into their lives together." Supporting each other will not only help to build a sense of purpose into your lives together, it will help you get to know each other on a deeper level - mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Working on that deeper connection and purpose will make it easier to let go of superficial conflicts and prevent issues from being swept under the rug or completely hidden.
Communication.
We can all agree that effective and efficient communication takes work in every relationship assignment that crosses our path. Mastering healthy communication styles like reflective/active listening, witness consciousness, and avoiding language like "always" and "never" are imperative in a successful marriage. Esther Perel, a Belgian psychotherapist, claims "One important thing to understand about couple’s communication is that a lot of what is presented as fact is actually an intensification of someone’s experience." Taking accountability and owning your own experience by using "I" statements will allow you and your partner to communicate openly and effectively, while creating a safe and secure space.
Is there a couple that inspires you? Enter them to win a complete Vow Renewal Package at Royalton Riviera Cancun or Royalton Blue Waters here.
Banner Photo by Be Photography
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What do you think makes a strong marriage? Leave a comment below with the chance to be featured on Weddings by Funjet's social channels with the hashtag #TheyStillDo.
